Arrows and Olive Plants - Part Two

One of the most heart-breaking sights we see is that of frustrated parents screaming and fussing at their children when in reality, they have NEVER TRAINED THEIR CHILDREN HOW TO BEHAVE!!! How do adults expect those little ones to automatically know how to behave? It is often undisciplined children who bring out these bad attitudes and frustration in parents. God has not designed it to be this way. Rebellion is NOT an inevitable part of rearing children. Children who are trained in the Word of God and who gives their hearts to the Lord and to their parents can avoid that pitfall of rebellion and dedicate their lives to Him!

The key to child training is in God's Word.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 22:6

What does "train" mean?

The dictionary tells us it means "to teach and supervise, act as a trainer or coach." The Hebrew word "chanak" actually means "to train up, to dedicate".

Let me ask you, how many of you have ever had a dog?? Did he do tricks?? Tell me, did he learn to do those tricks after you told him ONE TIME? No way!!! Training takes lots of TIME and PATIENCE!! When we first married, we had a little Yorkshire Terrier named Muffin. She was a smart little dog, and did all kinds of unusual tricks like play the piano, turn on the light, open her toy cabinet and get a certain toy. She even prayed! The secret to all her tricks was this: She could learn to do anything Rick had the PATIENCE to teach her!! That training took HOURS and HOURS!! Showing her, enticing her with treats, practicing, praising, etc!!! OVER AND OVER! (Remember, we didn't yet have children!!) We've noticed that many men will take more time training their hunting dog than they will teaching their little boy how to obey from God's Word. What a heart-breaking commentary on parenthood! Most people spend more time studying for their driver's exam than they do preparing to be a parent!! The answers are there in God's Word. We just have to take the time to study it and apply it. IT TAKES TIME!!

Here is a common scenario that we observe over and over again as we travel:

We are out at a restaurant or possibly in a church fellowship hall enjoying a meal. Across the way is a family with two small children, attempting to eat in peace. Unfortunately, the children are crawling all over the table, booth, or floor, whining and fussing while the parents try to cajole them into eating their food or sitting down and being quiet. Now, we understand. Believe me!! When you have 3 children, 4 and under, this is not an unknown scenario!!
The key is this:
Children must be TRAINED how to obey, at HOME, before you take them out into the public arena!! The training, explaining, practicing, disciplining, praising, all must be done prior to this scene. Children must be taught how to sit still, eat their food, use good manners, respond politely to their parents, etc. This does NOT come naturally! In our home, this training began as soon as the babies were born. Rick would take them right after birth while I was getting settled into the hospital room, and he would pray with them, sing to them and begin their training. "Put your head down," he would say, as he patted their soft little head nestled on his shoulder! "What good did that do?," you might ask. They couldn't even lift their head yet!! That's the point!! Begin early! Help your children grow accustomed to your voice and to responding to your commands. It was then that he wrote a song for each of them that explained the meaning of their name, and told what a blessing they were to us!  Another early training ground where Rick worked with the babies was in teaching them to go to bed when it was time, and to sleep through the night. This takes work! But it certainly pays off with a rested mom and dad, and a happy baby! Children CAN sleep through the night at a few weeks of age! As the children grew, we wrote out ways to practice good manners at the table. These were passed around each meal and read aloud by one child, then discussed and practiced! The children were required to sit still at the table, to eat their food, and to ask to be excused.  Once when they were all small, we had the opportunity to attend a formal banquet where a prominent political candidate was to appear. We wrote out the manners for such a banquet, such as which utensils to use, how to sit politely, how to eat what is served, how to speak when meeting strangers, etc. and we practiced, practiced, practiced!! They made us proud at that banquet!

The greatest difficulty in parenting is that most of the time, the right thing is also the hardest thing!!! Many parents want to be their children's buddy, when they really need an authority. It's much easier to let your children run wild and crawl under the table than it is so teach and train them, especially when they are embarrassing you in public!! Believe me. . . I've been right there! I've called Rick after a trip to the grocery with all 7 children and said, "I'm never going back in there!!!!" But, I did!! We had to eat! Seriously, training is the key!! It takes lots of patience and practice. One year we were planning on attending a home education conference in Knoxville, TN where approximately 20,000 would be in attendance. The year before, we had learned by experience how difficult it was to maneuver through huge crowds and meal lines with 7 children, the youngest 3, ages 3, 2, and 1!! So, I began weeks before the conference explaining to the "Three Musketeers" what it would be like, where we would be staying, how we would go through the meal lines, etc. Then, we practiced! We actually walked outside our home, came in the door, and pretended to go through a cafeteria line. I had the oldest help with the tray (Pretend, of course), while the middle child held on to my skirt, and I pushed the stroller with the youngest. We practiced standing in line, crossing streets, being sure to hold on to hands, skirts, or strollers! It was AMAZING how much better that year's conference went for us!! It's all in the training!

The other common scenario we observe occurs in church sanctuaries! It's unbelievable how many two year old children rule the roost!! Parents, your little ones are not born knowing how to sit in church. And church time is NOT the time for training them!! Home is the place!! For more on church training, please see my previous post on child training!

The point of the Scripture is this: we must TRAIN up a child, and that takes work!! Child training is the key. It takes time, patience, and consistency!! God intends our children to be a blessing, not only to us, but to those around us. He also tells us what happens when a child is "left to himself."

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."

Proverbs 29:15.

It's an awesome responsibility, isn't it, moms? It's also the greatest blessing in the world, this task of motherhood! We cannot do it on our own, but all things are possible through Him!